Be Nice or Else...

I had a professor once who was fond of saying that Southern hospitality is often just a cultural form of lying. As way of example he would mention the phrase, "Well bless their heart." If you have never lived in the South, this phrase is usually preceded by all the things you do not like about someone. I was struck again today by how tyrannical "nice" can be. Being nice can simply be a way of getting what we want, whether at work or in a restaurant. Being nice just seems to make our lives run smoother. I think that I am not quite so nice as most people, and this can lead to the misguided notion that I am mean or enjoy conflict. I don't believe that either of these are true, but the emptiness of being nice wears on me over time. Worse than the emptiness of being nice, is the attempt of niceness to control the outcome. It is interesting that niceness is not one of the fruits of the Spirit, but kindness is. One of the biggest problems my church has with the Old Testament, and with Jesus for that matter, is that "God is not loving." I think this is most likely a mis-speak on the part of my church, because if we are really honest, it is not that God is unloving, its that His love is rarely nice. How do we talk about love without it being limited to mere niceness? What do we do with kindness if it doesn't mean being nice? Still praying.