One of those days

I woke up with a headache that made me want to hollow out my brain like a watermelon in hopes of removing the pain. The day continued to be one of those days where you just never feel comfortable in your own body. On top of this surreal feeling, spiritual I just felt assaulted and irrelevant. Not irrelevant in the "I am too old and don't understand culture" sort of way but in the God is going to judge his church, and almost everything I do has no eternal significance sort of way. This sense was only heightened by our city wide youth meeting where we discussed programs and visions of Jesus. We closed with the speaker pointing out that it may be more virtuous not to see Jesus clearly, but to just have a sense of him as we get older and accumulate stuff (not his exact words, but a fairly accurate summary). So rather than lament a loss of vision and lead us to confession and the creeds (which gives us language through which we can see the world) we sort of merrily joked our way through the Eucharist. Father forgive me.
The evening ended on a far better note, as God gave Abby and I a glimpse of his kingdom through a group of young Catholics who live together and attempt to love their neighbors. Blessings on the house on Bradford Street. My prayer I suppose is that in the youth I work with God might draw them to himself in such a way that they can not even imagine living lives that do not lament the loss of vision, but rather live in a community where they intentionally listen to God in the voice of their neighbors always.
As always, pray for peace.